Some of my friends tell me I’m fine. Suck it up. Really?
Some are silent and don’t reply to a thing.
Why?
From the gal who is always there for everyone all the time…who has the best fucking heart, how is this happening to me?
How?
Why?
It’s not fair. At all.
All within 3 weeks I lost the person I was dating, my job, and one of my closest friends.
The job was a gut punch. The friend loss? How? I didn't see that coming at all. Devastating. All of it.
How?
Why?
I've almost lost my will to anything.
I can't sleep, can't eat.
And the nightmares about all of it.
There is no rest for this sadness I’ve been spun into.
This heaviness is unbelievable.
Whatever happened to the golden rule, kindness, love, and helping each other through this crazy fucking dark world?
Or is everyone just too busy and what not to care about people anymore?
Does anyone believe in karma?
She’s a bitch. And I believe in her. But it’s not why I’m good to people.
I am good to everyone because life is too too hard and too too sad to not help and be kind and be loving.
And I love everyone, so so so much. Friends, family, everyone.
I’m like an 8 year old who lost a friend and a job, crying and begging them to come back. For this to not be real. For my heart to not be shattered.
But I’m not. I’m 45.
And 8 or 45? It doesn’t matter. It hurts worse at my age.
And I wish I could just disappear and this all not be real.
Please take this pain from me.
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