What Dreams May Come....

 

This month, like many months,
you’ve been showing up in my sleep,
as if the distance between us
is thinner than air.

I wake with your voice still echoing,
your face so real
I have to check the room-- are you here?
Oh, how I wish you were.

Last night I had the exact same dream as you—Maybe?

Did you feel it? 

Okay... at least it felt that way.
This month it was one dream of me watching us last year, as in a menagerie, you reaching for me, kissing me, both of us scared in those first moments, but all eternity rushing in.

Do you dream these same dreams? I always wonder...

But when you DO dream of us, do you wake up wondering why the edges of our lives still brush against each other, like stars that share the same sky?

I wonder if you know,
time and too much don’t belong together
like we do.
If I had all my yesterdays,
I’d give them to you too.

Remember that MP you sent me once? I still have it saved there and on my phone. The one where you told me months after we broke up how you weren't quite sure how, but how exciting it was to find someone who sees the world the exact same way you do.

Just like the Brandi Carlile song...

In my dreams, we see the world
the exact same way--like we always have.
We lend our hands,
take our stands,
even in silence, in tandem.

Sometimes I think
I’ll die the exact same day as you.
On the Golden Gate Bridge (like the one on your arm),
I’d hold your hand
and howl at the moon,
scrape the sky with tired eyes,
and I’d come find you.
I’m not scared—
because if the dreams are real,
I’m never gonna miss you.

And yet I wake aching,
because the room is still empty,
because you are still gone,
because even eternity in a dream
can’t keep me from missing you here.

If dreams are real,
then maybe we’ve never left each other.
Maybe we’re still walking the same miles in the same vast universe,
quietly, endlessly,

but
side by side.