RBG.
Did you?
Deep inside me, I believe I was made for greatness.
That I am great.
I list off all my life accomplishments.
I've accomplished them all, and not without HARD work.
I’m pretty damn awesome if my resume and checks off bucket list were all you saw.
But those are the outside.
Inward me?
Contemplative me?
One on one me?
That’s the even deeper me.
The real me.
I could list off my loves and losses.
People have said some really nice things about me and others have spewed lies.
I love passionately. Intensely.
Like no one you’ve ever known.
I know only one way of living: the way you do one thing is the way you do everything and the way I do everything is ALL IN.
Try me.
What do you do with me?
I don't know, but the bad stuff? I’ve never deserved those things on any level.
But the darkness I went through and all my losses keep me humble.
So does my mom.
They lowest lows are, were, the hurdles I jump in my mind.
They’re the lies I shoot down everyday.
I am not the sum of my former fears, my anxiety, my darkest nights, my maddening nightmares.
These are not me.
I am a tour de force.
I am a hurricane.
I am a quiet whisper.
I am love, kindness, passion, unequivocal goodness.
If you could see my heart.
Oh, if you could see it.
I know my worth.
Perhaps I’m Wonder Woman.
Perhaps I’m not.
Perhaps a woman of wonder.
After all...
I’m not superhero.
I am, however, the heroine of my own life.
Many people have saved me, yes.
But I also wake up everyday and choose to save myself from any crevasse trying to pull me under.
Every woman, we can be a work of art. Wonder.
All the things they tell us we’ll never be.
So fuck them all and the status quo.
Be you.
That—is the true wonder.
-Written after RGB passed away a few years ago in her honor while contemplating turning 40-
September 2020
