Fuck you.
Fuck you for leading me on for the short relationship we had then gaslighting me for 10 min on the phone on the final day.
Fuck you for telling me I was too intense. Not what you’re looking for. That I want someone else that’s not like you, whatever that meant. All gaslighting.
Fuck you for telling me I was worthless when we made love, that my head wasn’t in the game when I was VERY much into you and need a minute sometimes to come back to earth, that I was safe when I wasn’t. I know it was only once you let it slip, but it cut deep.
And safe? You can’t tell someone they’re safe in bed when you’re going to leave them the next day, but you did. You played with my mind and my heart and I lost a game I didn’t even know I was in.
Fuck you for inviting me to your house in a snow storm, making me drinks and cheesy fries, dancing with me all over your house, and telling me I was persistent when I never once thought about us being a thing. I thought we were just friends. I wasn't pursuing you and never once flirted with you until I knew we both liked each other. But I didn’t know I was flirting with the devil.
I’m glad we are over but how do I still miss you at times? Want you back sometimes?
How do you hold such power?
Was it those eyes?
The amazing songs you played while we danced and made love?
Was it really "The Time of Your Life"?
It felt good in those moments.
But only controlling narcissistic people said all the horrible things you did.
I was your supply.
Writing you sweet things you loved so much then told me you didn’t in passive ways.
A thanks but...
But
but but
Why can't you just say thank you?
Why did you not even like the words I wrote you?
Making me feel like nothing.
You discarded me once I figured you out.
The truth.
You future faked us—said you wanted a forever.
You loved my attention because I gave it freely.
But you didn’t. Only wanted control.
You only wanted control
To control the narrative, how we dated, and how it ended.
Then you stonewalled me.
Gave me the silent treatment.
Discarded and devalued what we had.
And when I needed you the most.
This is all about control. Google it if you don’t believe me.
I caught you in lies but never confronted them.
Like when you were with your friends instead of your kids.
Your friends ratted you out to me.
You were so sweet the year I knew you.
But so diabolical when we decided to try an us.
You fucked my head up.
Because people like me fall for sweet so easily.
We fall for anyone who feels sweet and warm.
But it was all a lie.
You were an avoidant narcissist lie—I should’ve known.
I’d dated 1-2 like you before.
You're all the same.
But you were sly. Much more sly.
Insanely intelligent.
And you showed your true colors in 3 days at the end.
Never along the way. So I didn’t catch it.
And you were smart and in denial of your own cruel self.
It was all such a sick sick lie.
What made it worse? You knew I was hurting. You knew you hurt me. You let me hurt.
Watched me spiral. Wasn’t even there for me.
You were such a lie.
Who does that?
I guess they’re right when they joked Gingers have no soul.
I'll have a difficult time believing you ever had one.
I just found out the hard way.
